Any man who spends any significant amount of effort getting to know a woman will tell you that women are complicated creatures. Men joke about being happy with pizza, beer and a sporting event of even questionable quality, but there is always a little truth in those types of jokes. But one thing that is, for most men, an uncomplicated question, is whether or not they've had an orgasm. There isn't a lot of male orgasm faking, there's not a lot of mystery about whether or not a man has had an orgasm, and most men have absolutely no trouble bringing themselves to completion. Women, on the other hand, are definitely much more complicated.


I am a twenty-two year old male from India and married since two months. I have some questions and I hope you will reply to my query.

First, after having sex with my wife, I asked whether she felt orgasm. She said, "I don't know exactly but I felt that something is leaking from my body." So my question is whether this leaking feeling is called orgasm? If not how can one knows that she has felt orgasm?

Secondly, I don't use a condom because we don't enjoy much in a condom. So what the chances are for conceive? Is there any specific period in which the chances for conceive are higher?


Well, let's start with your second question, and let me be the first to congratulate you on the fact that your wife is probably already pregnant. If you're not going to use a condom, and you don't want to get pregnant, you'll need to use something else. Perhaps your wife can get a prescription for the birth control pill from a doctor (they may be available at some chemist's without a prescription), she can use a diaphragm, or you can try what people refer to as the "Rhythm Method" which is basically trying to do what you're asking about - figuring out when the chances of pregnancy are highest and avoiding sex during those periods. Unfortunately, even people who are religious about that method end up pregnant. There's a joke: What do you call people who practice the rhythm method? Answer: Parents. If that's your decision, there are a couple of different ways to figure out when NOT to have sex.

Women can only get pregnant when they are ovulating (releasing an egg from an ovary). Once an egg has been released from the ovary, it can only survive for about twenty-four hours. Although that sounds like a short period of time of fertility each month, it's not easy to figure out which twenty-four hours, exactly, are the bad ones. One way is for your wife to figure out how long her menstrual cycle is and use a calendar to count the days from the beginning of the cycle (the first day of her period) to the mid-point, 14 days for a woman with a 28-day cycle. Right around the fourteenth day is when ovulation occurs, therefore avoiding sex for a couple of days before and after that day may be your best bet. (Keep in mind that sperm can live within the female reproductive system for up to 72 hours.) Another way is to have your wife take her basal body temperature the first thing every morning for a month. If she has a normal menstrual cycle, her basal body temperature will raise almost one degree immediately after ovulation, and through the first day of the next cycle.

Although I understand you not wanting to use a condom, if you don't want to get pregnant just yet, I'd definitely suggest you use some other method of birth control.


And on to your first question… Obviously I don't know your wife and can't be completely sure, but I would be willing to bet that what your wife has felt, the "leaking" sensation, is not an orgasm. This is partly because I've never heard anything describe it that way, and partly because she seems so unsure. Most women who have had orgasms are not confused about whether or not they have had one. The good news I have for you is that there are physical signs that can tell you whether or not she's having an orgasm.

My suggestion is that you try to give her an orgasm via oral sex, rather than through penile penetration - it'll give you a chance to watch for all the signs I'll describe, and may make it easier for her to orgasm.

First, she'll feel a sort of building feeling that's kind of a combination of pleasure and pressure. As she gets closer to orgasm, her pulse rate will quicken, her blood pressure will raise, and she may begin to pant or breathe quicker. You will also probably notice that there is an increase in vaginal lubrication. As she gets more lubricated, you will be able to use your fingers insider her, and that may also help her reach orgasm. If you're giving her oral sex, you'll notice that her clitoris is getting larger and erect, and the little hood of skin that usually covers it ends up sliding back a bit. As she gets closer to orgasm, you'll see her breasts actually swell a little, and the nipples will start to get hard. When she actually orgasms, her face, neck and chest should flush, and her nipples will almost certainly be hard. Also, if you have your fingers inside her vagina when she orgasms, you will probably feel involuntary vaginal muscle spasms. And she'll probably be moaning your name. If she hasn't gotten there yet, I'm giving you the marching orders to go forth and give your wife pleasure!