When you first get into a relationship, sex often happens spontaneously. Sometimes it's so spontaneous that neither of you is prepared for it. That can mean sex in semi-public situations, or in the middle of the night when one of you wakes up horny and wakes up the other. It's a heady time. And it can also mean throwing caution to the wind and going for it when, in the past, you've been patient and waited a couple of days. And then there are people who are up just about anything.


I am a 25-year old male from Pakistan. I have been in a relationship for the past three years and we are both pretty serious and happy together as well. We've both gone past the virginity divide. What I am curious about, more than anything, is whether a couple is able to have sex during a female is undergoing her periods. If yes, any precautions that I need to keep in mind?

Secondly, would it be safe to have sex when my wife-to-be is pregnant? I've heard of a few porn orientations to that end but I don't trust that mode for my sex facts. I wouldn't want to harm neither the baby nor my wife. If yes, up until which month is it safe to have sex? Again, any precautions?

Looking forward to a reply.


As to your first question, you certainly can have sex when your girlfriend/wife is having her period. Some women aren't comfortable doing it, and others have no issues with it, but my first advice would be not to assume that she will want to do it. If you decide you want to, ask her before you start in and make sure she's down with it. A lot of women are actually pretty horny while on their periods, and I've even heard that for some women, it's easier for them to orgasm while on their period. There are a couple of things to keep in mind if you're going to have sex while she's bleeding:

- Women have very distinctive flows. Some women may have particularly heavy bleeding on the first day of their period, and then light for other days, and vice versa. You'll probably want to find out from her which days are lighter, and try that first.

- Whether you do it on a light day or a heavy day, it's likely to be messy. Think about it when you're getting ready to have sex because you don't want to spend hours trying to get blood out of sheets, clothes and mattresses.

- You'll probably want to use some lubrication. It may seem like there's enough liquid in the vagina with the menstrual blood, but menstrual fluid isn't lubricating. In fact, it often has the opposite effect - even if she's horny and excited, the friction of intercourse could actually dry her vagina out, and it will make it uncomfortable for both of you.

- You'll also probably want to use a condom. Almost every guy I've ever talked to about this issue have had a weird reaction to finishing and finding blood all over their penis. If you are particularly vigorous, you'll probably end up with blood on your scrotum and thighs, but a condom will make it slightly less messy. A condom is also a decent protection against both STDs and pregnancy. Yes, she can still get pregnant if you have sex while she's on her period. The odds are pretty low but it can, and does, happen.

- Finally, as for oral sex (on her)… your on your own. I've heard of people who are into it, and they all say that a tampon is necessary.


And as for your second question, I'm glad to hear that porn isn't your source for sex advice, but you'll be happy to hear what I have to say about sex while pregnant. It's generally perfectly fine to do it, and most women can have sex, and orgasms, all the way through their ninth month of pregnancy. Here are a couple of things to think about, however.

- Again, listen to your wife's feelings and thoughts on the matter. In the first trimester, she may be too fatigued, nauseated, and anxious about a miscarriage to have sex. If she is, bide your time and know that after a few weeks pass, she will be in a better place physically and emotionally.

- In the second trimester, most women are feeling pretty good physically, and the hormonal surges that cause fatigue, etc, in the first trimester are over. Many women are very into sex, and actually find it more pleasurable than ever. Many report being able to climax easily and more often than usual.

- In the final few weeks of the pregnancy, you may find it awkward to have sex, but it can actually be helpful to your wife. When a baby is overdue, the hormones in semen can actually speed delivery along by sort of softening up the cervix.

- Experiment with new positions. You may find that the old positions you're used to with your wife aren't possible, so try some new things like her on top, or her on her knees. Women often feel better if they can control the depth of penetration while pregnant, so if she's feeling uncomfortable, switch things around.

- Finally, if she has any risk factors for premature delivery, you should talk very frankly with her obstetrician about sex. You should ask whether it's okay for her to have sex and/or orgasms, and if the doctor tells you it's not safe, listen to her.