Male menopause and depression are commonly linked. Low testosterone levels have been known to bring on depression in middle aged men, similar to that of female menopause (although the process is quite different to a female).
Male menopause is not publicly talked about in the same way as female menopause is. In fact, many people including men refuse to even believe that male menopause exists. They may even refer to it instead as a 'mid life crisis' for fear of associating themselves with a condition more synonymous to women's health. Many men feel it is 'weak' and unmanly to seek help for depression he may be feeling due to the drop in testosterone levels that can occur during male menopause.
Male menopause and the underlying depression can set in from anywhere after forty years of ago. Some men begin producing less testosterone as early as their late 30's, however the 40's and 50's are the most common periods for reduced testosterone production and the onset of male menopause.
Male menopause does not even receive a significant amount of attention in the scientific field. This is a shame as male menopause can lead to serious bouts of depression in middle aged men; therefore it is well worth researching. Depression in men can lead to anger and aggression - quite the opposite to how women handle and react to depression when they are going through menopause. Women tend to become withdrawn, whilst men lash out.
Male menopause and depression comes about usually because of the fact that impotence and erectile dysfunction can set in. This is obviously highly distressing for a man which in turn leads to feelings of ill-worth and depressive thoughts. He may begin to think that it is his fault without realizing that he is actually going through a form of menopause.
Some symptoms of male depression during menopause are denial, aggression and occasionally complete withdrawal from regular activities. Statistics say that up to 80% of adults with depression will never seek help - this is an alarmingly high number of people who will never acknowledge that they are depressed, let alone try to combat it.
Male menopause and depression should be researched and spoken about openly - after all that is the only way to help combat it.

Male menopause symptoms are similar to those experienced by a female as she is going through menopause in her middle age. There is one big difference to the outcome though - women will lose their fertility whilst men will not.

The symptoms however are remarkably the same, it's just that male menopause is rarely talked about whilst female menopause is almost an everyday phrase.

Male menopause or andropause as it is otherwise known (men shy away from men's menopause at the best of times, calling it menopause can be rather offensive) is when there is a decrease in the testosterone hormone level. This can occur during or just after a man hits middle age and some common symptoms and effects are anxiety, depression and sexual dysfunction.

The most common age for andropause to start showing symptoms is in the 45-55 age range and continuing up to 70 years old and beyond.

Male menopause symptoms can include (and they vary from person to person):

- Low libido
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Irritability/mood swings
- Hot flashes
- Night sweats
- Listlessness
- Erectile dysfunction

Men experience less intense menopause symptoms compared to women. Men also tend to cope with it in a differing manner than female (i.e. they may lash out more whilst women will bottle up their feelings inside).

Male menopause symptoms can put a strain on a relationship, particularly if he is experiencing erectile dysfunction which obviously has a direct impact on his partner. Men may experience a low libido and erectile problems.

Of course, it is wise to visit a doctor if these male menopause symptoms begin to have a negative impact on your life and relationships. Although men are known now to acknowledge male menopause, more and more doctors are opening up to the fact that it does exist (even if they don’t want to call it menopause, that is where the term andropause has come in) in some form, and that it should be treated with the care and respect that women receive when they are going through menopause.

Male menopause? 'Is there such thing?' I hear you say. The answer is simply yes, there is indeed a phenomenon called male menopause and this site is dedicated to finding the facts and figures about this little talked about condition that affects men worldwide.

Everyone knows that women go through menopause once they hit the middle age mark. They experience symptoms such as hot flashes, hormonal changes, depression and irritability.

There is another name for male menopause - andropause. Andropause is used to replace the word menopause because many people believe that men are not going through the same changes as women do, therefore it should not be called menopause. As mentioned, male menopause is different from female menopause. In women, the sex hormones completely reduce and eventually disappear which then leads to loss of fertility.

Men however will not lose their fertility after male menopause as testosterone is still produced. Sperm production continues as well which is why men can have babies right into their elderly years.

Andropause can actually be brought upon by things such as depression, obesity and dementia. It can also occur naturally. Only some men will experience a significant drop in testosterone levels in their 40's and beyond. Many men keep healthy levels well into their 80's.

Even though male menopause is different from female menopause, the symptoms are still rather similar. Hot flashes, sweats, muscle aches, fatigue, mood swings and depression are all common symptoms of andropause.

In the same way as women can get hormone replacement therapy, there is such thing as Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT). This treatment boost the hormone levels however should not be confused for erectile dysfunction treatment as it does not have an effect on that area of a man's health.

Male menopause is not talked about often as men are less inclined to talk about their symptoms compared to their female counterparts. However it is an important and real issue which should be addressed and spoken about more openly by those who are experiencing it.

It has long been known that men reach their sexual peak around age eighteen and women reach theirs in their mid-thirties. It certainly explains a few things - like Anne Bancroft hooking up with Dustin Hoffman, and the modern day equivalent Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. But it also causes problems, as this week's reader relates:


I read your columns regularly and after much thought decided it was a good idea to write to you. I have been married for about four years and ours was a love marriage. Both me and my hubby are in our early 30s. When we were dating, we did a lot of fun things together like all couples would, and enjoyed a great deal of physical intimacy. We stopped short of having sex, keeping it for post-marriage. After we got married, we were constantly looking for free time to have sex...at times we would rush home from office just to be with each other, in bed.

However, now my husband is gradually losing interest. While he responds if I make the first move, he won't caress me or fondle me the way he would if we were having sex say after ten days. For me, like for any other woman, foreplay is very important and this half-hearted sex gives me no pleasure. I try to control myself (from making the first move), but it's very difficult. I end up initiating sex every two or three days and he does respond, but I can make out that he does it grudgingly and I don't enjoy it then. He is a caring and loving hubby, but I am losing my patience now.

Could you please suggest whether it's a good idea for me too to wait for a week or ten days or continue initiating the first move, risking the fun quotient.


As a woman, I feel your pain. In fact, most women, at one time or another, have encountered exactly what you're talking about. From your letter it sounds like your biggest disappointment is the loss of the physical intimacy, and that's certainly a huge concern. But before I discuss my advice on waiting a week, or continuing to initiate sex, I'm going to talk about what could be the problem generally.

The most likely possibility is that he's just getting older, and as men get older, their libidos can vary greatly. Obviously there will be some men who are eighty years old and still working it (see Hugh Hefner and his three hotties), but generally as guys age, their testosterone levels can begin to drop, and with that comes a drop in libido. Unfortunately, this also tends to be accompanied by other things that affect libido. For instance, a man in his early thirties who has been married a couple of years is probably starting to feel the pressure of providing for his family, the possibility of having children, and the stress and anxiety that comes with that. And if that wasn't enough to distract him from marital pleasures, he's probably entering a time in his career where he's given increased responsibility and with that comes more stress and anxiety. Basically stress and anxiety are the death knell to any libido, male or female.

What I would suggest is that you actually talk to him about it. It sounds like your relationship is a strong one and that communication is relatively good. I'd say that it's possible that he doesn't even know that you're so frustrated with this situation. Giving him a chance to talk about it may help a couple of ways: 1. he may not have realized just how much his libido has decreased; 2. he may have pressures he hasn't shared with you that are contributing to his stress, and discussing them between you may help; 3. it'll give him a chance to make some effort to change.

In the meantime, I have to say that in my experience, the last thing that helps an ailing sex life is one person placing pressure on the other to perform. It is obviously frustrating to you, as a wife, to feel like you aren't desired by your husband, but for now try to think of it as something that you need to help him through. Most likely it is no reflection on you or how he feels about you. Try giving him a little time to reflect. If you can, wait until he approaches you for sex, but continue to be affectionate with him. Make sure you hug and kiss him as much as before, and he may eventually realize what he's missing.

I would advise, however, that if there isn't some external stressor that is distracting him, you may suggest that he see a doctor to check his hormone levels to make sure he is healthy.

Any man who spends any significant amount of effort getting to know a woman will tell you that women are complicated creatures. Men joke about being happy with pizza, beer and a sporting event of even questionable quality, but there is always a little truth in those types of jokes. But one thing that is, for most men, an uncomplicated question, is whether or not they've had an orgasm. There isn't a lot of male orgasm faking, there's not a lot of mystery about whether or not a man has had an orgasm, and most men have absolutely no trouble bringing themselves to completion. Women, on the other hand, are definitely much more complicated.


I am a twenty-two year old male from India and married since two months. I have some questions and I hope you will reply to my query.

First, after having sex with my wife, I asked whether she felt orgasm. She said, "I don't know exactly but I felt that something is leaking from my body." So my question is whether this leaking feeling is called orgasm? If not how can one knows that she has felt orgasm?

Secondly, I don't use a condom because we don't enjoy much in a condom. So what the chances are for conceive? Is there any specific period in which the chances for conceive are higher?


Well, let's start with your second question, and let me be the first to congratulate you on the fact that your wife is probably already pregnant. If you're not going to use a condom, and you don't want to get pregnant, you'll need to use something else. Perhaps your wife can get a prescription for the birth control pill from a doctor (they may be available at some chemist's without a prescription), she can use a diaphragm, or you can try what people refer to as the "Rhythm Method" which is basically trying to do what you're asking about - figuring out when the chances of pregnancy are highest and avoiding sex during those periods. Unfortunately, even people who are religious about that method end up pregnant. There's a joke: What do you call people who practice the rhythm method? Answer: Parents. If that's your decision, there are a couple of different ways to figure out when NOT to have sex.

Women can only get pregnant when they are ovulating (releasing an egg from an ovary). Once an egg has been released from the ovary, it can only survive for about twenty-four hours. Although that sounds like a short period of time of fertility each month, it's not easy to figure out which twenty-four hours, exactly, are the bad ones. One way is for your wife to figure out how long her menstrual cycle is and use a calendar to count the days from the beginning of the cycle (the first day of her period) to the mid-point, 14 days for a woman with a 28-day cycle. Right around the fourteenth day is when ovulation occurs, therefore avoiding sex for a couple of days before and after that day may be your best bet. (Keep in mind that sperm can live within the female reproductive system for up to 72 hours.) Another way is to have your wife take her basal body temperature the first thing every morning for a month. If she has a normal menstrual cycle, her basal body temperature will raise almost one degree immediately after ovulation, and through the first day of the next cycle.

Although I understand you not wanting to use a condom, if you don't want to get pregnant just yet, I'd definitely suggest you use some other method of birth control.


And on to your first question… Obviously I don't know your wife and can't be completely sure, but I would be willing to bet that what your wife has felt, the "leaking" sensation, is not an orgasm. This is partly because I've never heard anything describe it that way, and partly because she seems so unsure. Most women who have had orgasms are not confused about whether or not they have had one. The good news I have for you is that there are physical signs that can tell you whether or not she's having an orgasm.

My suggestion is that you try to give her an orgasm via oral sex, rather than through penile penetration - it'll give you a chance to watch for all the signs I'll describe, and may make it easier for her to orgasm.

First, she'll feel a sort of building feeling that's kind of a combination of pleasure and pressure. As she gets closer to orgasm, her pulse rate will quicken, her blood pressure will raise, and she may begin to pant or breathe quicker. You will also probably notice that there is an increase in vaginal lubrication. As she gets more lubricated, you will be able to use your fingers insider her, and that may also help her reach orgasm. If you're giving her oral sex, you'll notice that her clitoris is getting larger and erect, and the little hood of skin that usually covers it ends up sliding back a bit. As she gets closer to orgasm, you'll see her breasts actually swell a little, and the nipples will start to get hard. When she actually orgasms, her face, neck and chest should flush, and her nipples will almost certainly be hard. Also, if you have your fingers inside her vagina when she orgasms, you will probably feel involuntary vaginal muscle spasms. And she'll probably be moaning your name. If she hasn't gotten there yet, I'm giving you the marching orders to go forth and give your wife pleasure!